One complaint that you will often hear from women about men is that men are closed and they keep their feelings and emotions in the vest. Undeniably men and women are different in several ways. Men don’t divulge their feelings quickly and they try to resolve conflicts on their own.
Men view this as a manly way to handle emotions but women do not see it that way. There is no need to get frustrated because your unable to get him to open up. All you need to do is follow some simple steps so that he finds it safe and secure to share his thoughts and feelings with you.
Be the first one to open up: The logic here is that men won’t pursue or open up with women unless they see the woman opening up. If you try to play the hard to get girl or the cool girl then he is not going to reveal his feelings to you.
However when you take the first step and open up with him then you will be surprised by the response you get from him. The moment you open up, he will feel safe and secure to reveal things to you.
Be a listener: If you have not been listening to him carefully in the past then he is surely not going to open up. By showing the desire to listen about his side of things, you will provide him the comfort feeling. Then you will see him sharing his deepest desires, thoughts, fears and emotions without any hitch.
Don’t try to judge him: If you have been criticizing him or judging him in the past then he will be reluctant to share his feelings. The best way to build trust is by not criticizing and judging him. You see, no one is perfect and therefore don’t expect him to be 100% perfect.
Try and accept your man the way he is. If you try to judge him and try to bring about changes in him then he is surely not going to share any personal information with you.
You also need to convey him that he is your man and there is no one else in your mind. Talking about another man just to create jealousy is not going to get him to open up. Be very honest with him about your feelings. He will surely reciprocate by opening up with you.
Timing is important: Wait for the appropriate time to get clarification about all your relationship insecurities. Don’t ask your questions after he returns from office after working for 12 hours. Show that you care for him by asking him about his day at the office and then tell him to have a shower or offer him a glass of wine.
Once he feels the love and caring you offer he will surprise you with open communication that will help in bonding the two of you. He will answer all your questions and make you feel comfortable about the relationship.
Don’t bring up the past: There is not point in discussing about your ex boyfriend and your experience with him. Doing this will only scare him because he may get the feeling that you may treat him also like your ex boyfriend. So, forget the past and talk about the future in a positive way.
It is not uncommon for women to brood over the past relationship. However this will only help in slowing down things.
Don’t try to rush to the next level: Once he starts sharing his feelings and emotions, try and accept them as they come.
Don’t try to push the relationship to the next level just because you feel comfortable. He may still not be ready to take the relationship to the next level. Trying to force the relationship to the next level may actually result in him pulling away or even totally disappear.
Togetherness and bonding: Opening up and sharing thoughts and feelings with one another will only happen if there is togetherness and bonding. Share with him some of the special and good moments in your life. This will create more trust and bonding with him. Once trust is well established, it will help to get him to open up more and more.
Don’t put any kind of pressure on him to reveal his thoughts and feelings in order to create an emotional bonding. Instead make him feel relaxed by complimenting and praising him. Let him feel the love and security when you are there with him.
A man will reveal his feelings and emotions only when he is not threatened or coerced to do so.
No pressure is the best way to get him to open up slowly and surely.