Are you dating a man who is making you go through roller coaster emotions, where on one day you are happily matched and the next day he shows no interest and does not want to go out anywhere? Does your guy disappear for several days and then appear all of a sudden?
If you see this kind of thing happening with you then you may be dating an emotionally unavailable man.
Trying to understand or change an emotionally unavailable man is not the easiest of things, especially in the beginning when he would make all the right moves to make you feel that he is indeed the Mr. Right that you have been looking for.
Men can become unavailable for many reasons. They may have things of higher priority in their life like higher studies or career.
They may have gone through a troubled childhood experience that makes them behave like this.
They may not want to get into an intimate relationship after they lost a loved one or perhaps after a divorce.
They may fear falling in love with someone after having bad experiences with previous relationships.
They may be hoping to get back with their ex even if the breakup was a heart breaking one.
If you find several of these characteristics in a man then you should be asking yourself if you still want to continue with a relationship with him.
Want to know how to spot men with these characteristics quickly? Here are the Top 10 Emotionally Unavailable Men Characteristics to look for:
Does He Show Fluctuating Behavior?
For a week he keeps texting and dating you and then disappears suddenly for couple of weeks without telling you anything. And then he will show up again suddenly with texting and all the hot stuff.
He may just be playing with your emotions and trying to drive you crazy. If his behavior is not consistent and fluctuates from week to week then he may not be serious at all. He may be just playing with you!
Does He Disclose His Relationship Status?
If the guy does not clearly disclose his relationship status even after being asked then this is surely a red flag.
The guy may be having a girlfriend or even a wife, you never know.
You should not get trapped by such a person because he is not going to commit. He is just going to use you to pass time.
Men who are cheating their existing girlfriend won’t think twice to cheat on you. At best you can become his side piece and be used all the time.
Is He Healing A Breakup or Divorce?
There are men who broke up or got divorced recently and are still going through the healing period.
Such men may have thoughts and feelings from the previous relationship still dominating their mind.
Because of this they may not be ready for a serious relationship with someone new.
It is possible that he still wants to get back with his ex girlfriend by using you as a tool to achieve that.
He may just use you to create jealousy in his ex’s mind and just to show that he is moving on.
Relationship with such men is bound to fail because he may not be emotionally ready for dating someone new. It is in your best interest to stay away from such men until they are fully detached from a previous relationship.
Does He Make Excuses Almost Always?
You try to call him but he does not pick up the phone and later makes an excuse that he was busy in a meeting.
You ask him for going out for a dinner and he says that he is occupied.
You want to go out shopping over the weekend and he wants to watch a match with his friends.
These may seem to be trivial and you may forgive him because he had an excuse.
But what if this happens too often? Can you keep forgiving him endlessly? Surely this is a behavior pattern that you cannot ignore for long.
The important thing here is that he is not available for you in any which way. Dating a man who always has an excuse up his sleeves is definitely not the way to go. Surely he falls under the emotionally unavailable men category.
Does He Openly Acknowledge The Relationship?
Is he the type of person who holds your hands and introduces you to his family and friends?
Does he openly acknowledge the relationship in family functions and parties? If not then you may be with a wrong guy.
Emotionally unavailable men will only show their love in private and maintain a distance when you are with them in a public function.
If he pretends to be shy and does not acknowledge your presence in public that means he wants to keep the relationship under wraps.
In all probability he must be an emotionally unavailable, commitment phobic man who wants to avoid intimacy.
Is He Open To Talk About Your Feelings?
Normally men don’t talk about heart matters that easily.
But if you are dating him for some period of time then he should be ok to talk and discuss about the feelings of each other.
In fact he should be ok to talk about marriage, kids, vacation, weekends and all the stuff that give an indication that he is emotionally attached to you.
If he says that he does not like to talk about his or your feelings or if he comes up with something else to avoid discussion about feelings then surely it’s a red flag.
Don’t expect such men to commit to you emotionally. You should be running away from such men and look for relationship committed men elsewhere.
Watch Out For The Sexually Fast Guy
If a man is interested in having sex early on in the relationship and does not want to get intimate, then you need to watch out.
He may seduce you to just have sex and as the relationship gets intimate he may ditch you and run.
He may feel that he can only offer sex and nothing else and therefore all the focus will be on sex only.
For building a strong emotional bonding it is always recommended not to fall in the sex trap too early in the relationship.
If he truly loves you then he will never try to force you to have sex early in the relationship.
Does He Find Flaws?
Emotionally unavailable men try and find out flaws with the things you do, feelings you have or a character defect.
This allows them to point at the flaw and run away from the relationship as it gets to the intimacy stage.
They will tell you how perfect they are with various things and how they expect others to be perfectionist.
Finding flaws and escaping a relationship is their way of overcoming the fear of intimacy and emotional relationship.
How They Treat Others?
Just observe as to how he treats others, especially people in public. If he is rude with a waiter or a taxi driver then surely it is the anger that has built up over time.
If the relationship is new then he will be extra careful and nice with you. But It is just a matter of time before he gets angry at you.
Such emotionally unavailable men are abusive and demanding, therefore you should avoid such men.
Is He A Self Centered Person?
There are men who will base everything around themselves and not think about the other person.
They would like to set the agenda for the relationship and fully control it.
Any change to the relationship agenda happens only when they have a change of plan.
They would show zero flexibility to accommodate your inputs in the relationship agenda.
These self centered men fear commitment and emotional relationship.
If you try to take control of the relationship, they will exit it without thinking twice.
If the person you are dating exhibits many of the above mentioned characteristics, then you should not try to change him or convert him. Take it for granted that is one of the many emotionally unavailable men.
It would be much better to accept that he is not the correct match for you.
This would require courage and discipline on your part for sure. However this will ensure that you are not emotionally disappointed.
You will be free to date a better person with whom your future will be bright.