Have you ever wondered as to why men pull away all of a sudden when everything seems to be working great?
He calls you regularly and sends you text messages, he tells you that he likes you and he even claims that he hasn’t had feelings like this ever before.
He provides you all that signs that he is serious about the relationship and then suddenly he becomes cold and distant. Why does this happen?
This is a very common phenomenon with men and many books have been written on this subject. Even the famous talk show host Oprah has done a dozen shows on this subject.
Many relationship experts and gurus have made their careers by helping women understand this phenomenon in great detail.
Once you get to understand as to why men pull away when things get serious, you will never get caught in that cool fade zone again.
Here are some of the top reasons for such a behavior from men:
He Is Stressed
It is a well known fact that men pull back and retreat when they are stressed. The stress could be due to various reasons – work pressure, financial problems, property dispute or any other.
When women are stressed they would typically talk to a friend or a relative and share their problem to find a solution.
Men on the other hand would not talk about the issue that is causing the stress and instead they will think over it themselves to try and find a solution.
If you chase him and pester him to talk to you when he is focusing on the problem at hand, then he is going to see you as one more source of stress and therefore pull away.
The more you try him to push for a talk, the more his is going to distant himself from you. This push and pull cycle may continue until he totally distances himself from you or the relationship lingers on with all the tension.
What women forget to do is provide him the space that he needs when he is stressed. If he needs to talk to you, then he will do so on his own. If he needs your opinion, he may do so on his own. If you give him the space and freedom, he will come back to you when his stress is over.
He Is Trapped And Pressured
Often you will find a man walk away from a relationship when he feels trapped and pressurized. The important thing is to recognize this and take corrective steps. Let him go and meet his friends, allow him to have a weekend party with his friends and let him watch his favorite sports channel during the weekends.
These are simple things that may not be of interest to you but these are certainly his interest areas. By allowing him to follow his interests you prevent the buildup of undue pressure on him that can harm the relationship and lead him to withdraw.
He Is Going Through Uncertainty Stage
According to Dr. John Gary, the famous author of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, all long term relationships go through the uncertainty stage. This is the stage where men are uncertain if they should move on to the next stage and lose the freedom or not. The is one more of the well known reasons why men pull away early stages.
The best way to handle this stage is by allowing him to think through with freedom. Support him during this stage so that he realizes the benefit of being with an awesome person like you. Once the pressure is off, you will end up with him in your arms.
He Is Actually Busy
You have to be realistic and determine if he is really withdrawing or if you are being unreasonable in expecting him to answer all your text messages within 30 minutes.
He may be actually busy with some office work or he may be taking his unwell grandmother to the hospital. Always remember that you will have to let him have a life and if you don’t do, then you won’t keep him.
Putting pressure on him to answer all your texts within 30 minutes is going to annoy him and this in one more typical reason why men pull away in relationships.
You Don’t Appreciate Him Anymore
Everyone likes to be appreciated and he is no different. If you stop appreciating him he will become distant from you and then he is going to have an affair with a girl who is a big fan of him.
The secret sauce to prevent him from withdrawing is to appreciate him 100% of the times. This way you will never have the risk of him fading away.
There Is Somebody Else
Sometimes you will see men withdrawing from a relationship when they have someone else who is able to understand their wants in a relationship and deliver that to them.
It is possible that your relation lost the spark due to a fight or lack of trust or jealously etc. and he found somebody else who could deliver his wants.
If he is not cut of totally then you still can work hard and win him back. However if he totally cut off then you may have to lose him.
He Feels Too Much Is Being Expected Of Him
Sometimes there is a lot of pressure from family members, relationships, work and others. And when he realizes that he not able to emotionally and physical meet even a few of the demands, he may cut down on few of the demands and prioritize them.
This is especially true if there are many unrealistic expectations to fix things, change methods, modify finances and others.
So if you have a lot of unrealistic expectations from the relationship that he feels he would not be able to meet, he may withdraw.
Bottom-Line: Why Men Pull Away In Relationships?
Sometimes women want to get commitment from men too early in the relationship and in the process they put pressure on the guy to move things to the next level. When stress levels become unbearable, he will withdraw. This is the main reason you will see why men pull away when things get serious.
The best thing is to allow your man the freedom he deserves and wait for the appropriate moment for making the shift to the next level, when he is ready for it. Putting pressure on him will only make him fade away.